More wedding speech quotes

Here is the latest installment of quotes from the kids that will be retold on their wedding days by me.

1. Thanksgiving 2010 - We were at my parent's house and Kelly came running through the house and jumped on a couch thinking she would stop right there.  However, her momentum took her up and over and down on the other side.  She is lying there and says "That was not suppose to happen."
2. December 2010 - Kelly asked me who catches bad guys and locks them up.  I said the "cops."  A few moments later Annie comes into the room and Kelly says, "Annie, guess what, the Cox people catch bad guys and lock them up."  Even funnier if you know their mom works for Cox Communications.
3. Christmas 2010 - Our fantastic day is summarized best by Kelly: "Santa even gave me things I didn't even know I wanted, but I really wanted them for my whole life." Emphasis on "whole".
4. March 2011 – Brigid got sick on the Saturday night after the Newport St. Pat’s parade.  We thought it was a baby hangover (too many juice boxes) but then Annie got sick the next night.  Funny part is that during the middle of the night as she was not feeling good, Annie was in a talking mood like it was the middle of the day and she was telling us a story.  Also, after getting sick one time she said, “well there is the rest of my dinner.” 
5. September 2011 – Nana came over to watch Brigid and she asked her what she likes to do at school.  She said she likes to play with her “cot.”  She kept saying it, but Nana and Amy thought she was saying something else.  Annie had to help clear up the situation.
6. October 2011 - As we drove past Newport Hospital today, Annie said, "Mom, I know why I'm so dramatic. I was born on Broadway!"

Enjoy.

Crew Cuts for Girls

Despite the recent stretch of warm weather it looks like another successful beach season has come to a close.  The girls had a great time and we had a lot of fun family moments at Gooseberry.  I was even adventurous enough to take them to the beach during the week without Amy.  Well, with the much appreciated assistance of my mother-in-law, Patty.  But, with all of that said, after all of those long days on the beach, there yet is another glaring difference that I have noticed between raising girls and boys: sand in the hair!

I would like to officially announce my campaign to develop a summer haircut for girls.  Boys get their summer crew cuts, but what do girls get?  They keep their nice, long hair. Boys come off the beach, shake their heads a few times and the sand is all gone from their hair. Girls go in the shower and get some of the sand out, but not all. Then they come home, and maybe get a better shower where still more sand gets out, but not all. They go to bed and wake up and leave some on their pillows and sheets like it is Tooth Fairy dust, but not all of it.  Walk around for the next day or so shaking their heads yes and no and sand particles come flying out.  And for those of you that know my daughters, you know they have a lot of hair (see my post "I still do not do braids" http://thelastystanding.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-still-dont-do-braids.html) if you do not believe me.  AND it is not stringy straight hair. It is thick, dark hair. The hairdresser often questions why we see her so often, but each time we go she comments about how much hair our girls really do have.

And just when you think all of the sand is out of the hair it is time to go back to the beach.  And for some reason, both Kelly and Brigid love playing in the sand more than the average child. And, naturally, they love doing head stands, getting buried and just plain old dumping sand on top of their heads.

I wish it was acceptable for a summer crew cut for girls. It'd be so much easier.

On that note, I think if I could come up with a better name then "buzz" or "crew" cut, I may be able to get my girls on board ...  Now all I need is a good suggestion for my ad campaign???  The Sinead?  Too much controversy.  The Demi (Demi Moore from G.I. Jane)?  Too institutional.  The Britney?  Way too scary.

Maybe I can get Katy Perry to write a song about it.  My girls seem to love anything she sings. 

      "'Cause baby, you're a firework, 
       Come on show 'em your hair cut short!
       Make em go oh, oh, oh.
       As your hair goes across the sky- ey - ey!"

I think I am on to something. Now, all I need is Katy to shave her head for my cause.

My Wedding(s) Future

I saw my future of being a three time father-of-the-bride a couple of weekends ago, and it was scary. Our whole family was fortunate to be in my brother-in-law's wedding. Yep, three flower girls, a bridesmaid and a groomsman.  Everything was great, and the girls all had a blast. But now as I sit back and look over the last few months of pre-wedding activities and then the actual wedding itself, I am not sure I am going to be able to handle three daughters getting married.

Over the wedding weekend, the bride's dad was excited, happy, and very relaxed.  I thought to myself, "I hope I am like that when my girls get married." Then I remembered that she is his only child. No wonder he seemed fine: he knew this was his one and only time doing it!

Now for me, I saw all the craziness swirling around the event like Hurricane Irene: misplaced name cards, wrong best man shirt, priest's cellphone ringing during mass. And again I thought "How am I going to deal with all of these types of things, times three?"  

For my wife and me, we had the normal bridesmaid and groomsman stuff of outfits and outings. Then of course there is the "drama" that comes with weddings, especially for the females: the dress, the hair, accessories, and dealing with other bridesmaids, and showers, etc., etc., etc.  We have been in enough weddings to know the deal and that was not a big hassle.  

Some extra stuff this time around was a bridal shower at our house that was held the day after our kitchen was scheduled to be finished getting its own "makeover." The paint was probably still drying on the walls when the first guests arrived... 

However, the big difference this time around was not only were WE involved in the wedding, but our three little ladies also were a part.  Just like it would be when one of them gets married.  First there was the flower girl dress shopping.  Several different stores, a few different styles and then they get the one they think is "it."  $120 per dress later my wife thought that that may be a little too expensive for a flower girl dress.  You think? (thank God she spoke up because I was just about to bite through my tongue). So, I thank her immensely for searching some more on her own and ultimately finding dresses for $25 each.  Girls liked them, bride-to-be liked them, $360 crisis averted. 

Next on the list was the shoes each of them would wear.  Again, thanks to my wife they did the PayLess/Marshall's thing and they were able to find three pairs, albeit slightly different styles, for very reasonable prices.  They may actually even wear them again!

I also forgot to mention that my now sister-in-law was kind enough to ask our daughters to be in the wedding over a year in advance.  So anyone with small children knows that for the next year, everyday like clockwork, my wife or I would get asked something about the wedding and how many more days until the wedding.  I can not even imagine what it would be like from the time one of my daughters gets engaged until their actual wedding day.

So you may think that is not all that bad.  And you would be somewhat correct.  Now let's just cut to three days prior to the wedding and go from there.  Here is a condensed rundown for just the girls: three pre-haircuts, three lunches at Pineapple's on Goat Island with the bridal party (the wife convinced me they had to go because they were part of the party), two sets of manicures, one babysitter for Brigid the night of rehearsal so she would be rested for wedding (actually the best money we spent during this whole process), three wedding day hair do's, one babysitter the night of the wedding for Brigid so she did not stay at the reception the whole time, and loads of drama sprinkled in between.

I haven't taken the time to even calculate how much this has cost us. Honestly, I know I'd have a heart attack. That's not even what I'm worried about. It was just all of the little things, and of course all of the drama.  Anyone that has girls knows that the drama can happen at anytime and over any little thing.  And as the girls get bigger the drama gets bigger.  I believe I could mentally prepare myself for one wedding, but not sure about three.  Or now sitting here thinking more about this, maybe by the third wedding I will be able to tune everything out and just go to "my happy place" when all the drama breaks out.  If I was one of my girls, I would try my hardest to be the last of her sisters to marry!

Stand in the corner and don't turn around!

No, this is not a blog about timeout strategies, although we do use those a lot around here.  This is a statement heard by my daughters when Nature calls and we are out on adventures.  Just like what happened on our most recent drive back from Philadelphia.  Mom had to fly out a couple of days earlier so it was me and the girls alone on the ride home.  We all had the pleasure of using the Montvale Rest Area at the very northern end of the Garden State Parkway.

As a stay-at-home dad with three girls, the issue I face is the need for the men’s room when bathroom breaks are necessary.  You wish you could use a Family Room, but there are not many of them, so it is off to the men's room we all go.  Which is becoming more and more difficult with Annie who is 7.  Now, do I let her go to the women's room by herself?  Not sure. What is the right age for a girl, in an unfamiliar place, to be able to use the bathroom by herself? That still does not change the fact that I will need her to come with me when I need to take Kelly and Brigid to the bathroom.  And more times than not, I am just like Pavlov's dog: when they go, I have to go.  So Annie will still be there enduring her corner of the stall.

As we were approaching the rest area, I could feel my pulse begin to quicken.  Now, normally I use the handicap stalls in bathrooms, which provides us with some more room. (Just as an aside - Am I breaking a law by using the handicap stall since technically I do not have a handicap?  Well other then the fact that I need to take three small girls into the men's room to pee.  What else am I suppose to do?  I do not view it the same as if I was parking in a handicap spot to run into Dunkin' Donuts or something.  Luckily, a handicap person has never had to use the stall at the same time as us.  That will be a fun day when my girls and I come out of the stall and a handicap person is waiting to get in.  I can not imagine the questions and comments my girls will have.  I am sweating now thinking of the awkwardness that will ensue when Kelly, in her not so quiet inside voice, asks me either "why are they in a chair with wheels" or "how are they going to go to the bathroom?"  The whole time Annie will just be staring at the person with her big blue eyes and Brigid will be touching everything on the wheelchair.)

Well back to the Montvale experience. I figured it would not be as crowded on a Tuesday morning, but unfortunately I was wrong.  Jam packed with men at the urinals and the stalls.  The handicap stall was even occupied!  My only option was a regular stall all the way at the end.  Somehow we all managed to squeeze in to the space with me telling the girls the whole time not to touch anything.  So like a world famous contortionist family we each take turns using the potty.  The whole time I am holding Brigid, helping the big girls, and trying not to have them touch anything.  Also, I have my very feminine black and white baby bag slung over my shoulder.   The big girls finish, they move to their corners, and I take care of my bladder relief and we are finally able to exit the stall. Then it is Brigid's turn at the changing table that always seems to be right next to the urinals.  Again the big girls must endure a corner until the diaper is changed.

However, the adventure of the men's bathroom is not done even after all of this.  Now we have to wash our hands. And of course, the sinks are always close to the action.  Constant questions like: Why do men's rooms have those types of potties? How come I can't use those potties?  Hopefully there is not a person right next to the sinks or it is complete chaos. Trying to get them to wash their hands, with soap, and not stare at the man at the urinal.  By the end, the sink and the girls are covered with soap and water.

Finally, I understand saving the environment and all and I appreciate the hand dryers.  But when you are trying to get in and out of a situation as quickly as possible the hand dryers do not help.  Just give me the paper towel option, too!  I will make the right choice when I am in there, but with the girls I need speed and efficiency.

As long as I continue to stay at home with the girls, our bathroom breaks will always be in the men's room. That is, until Annie is old enough to start taking Kelly and Brigid to the women's room.  The only part of the process I can control now is whether I will have to use the facility also.  So as I see it I have two options.  Wear a diaper or stop drinking water during the day.  After having to change as many diapers as I have in the last few years I think I will go with option two.  I will just stop drinking anything all day and never have to go until we get home.  I will risk dehydration to not have to use the men's room with my three girls. The craziness of three little girls in the men's room will still happen, but at least my girls will not have to stand in a corner and not turn around!

Way too early for "The Talk"

I always believed that one of the biggest benefits of having all girls was that I would get to avoid having "The Talk."  Now, like every parent I get the "Where do babies come from?" question on a regular basis.  And my stock answer has always been that "God gives them to mommies and daddies when they are ready."  Well to my surprise, Annie did not hold my same belief system that the dad does not have "The Talk" with his girls.

Annie and I were fortunate to spend a lot of quality time together while we were driving back and forth to Newport on the day of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.  We dropped Amy, Kelly and Brigid off in the morning for the parade and then headed back to SK for a friend's birthday party and then back to Newport for the fun after the parade.  It is always fun times alone with Annie because she is so smart and inquisitive that there is usually never a lull in the conversation.  These are also stressful times, because she is so smart and inquisitive and there is never a lull in the conversation.  You have to constantly be on your toes with her.  You have to expect questions from everywhere and about anything.  I just never thought the questions would lead down the road it did.

Usually, they are normal questions like how does this work or who made that.  However, Annie is famous for asking somewhat tougher questions too.  For example, we could be driving along and a car will pass us in the opposite direction.  Now Annie will proceed to shoot out, rapid fire, questions about that car going in the other direction.  Not just the color or make or even what license plate.  No, she wants to know where they are going, how many kids they have, why did they buy that type of car, why are they not going to Newport for the parade today, etc.

So as we were driving back to Newport after her friend's party it was these types of questions that she was asking, when all of a sudden she throws me the biggest question of all. "Where do babies come from?"  I give her my stock answer mentioned above.  However, she is not satisfied.  Damn smart kid!  She proceeds to tell me that Mommy said "you need a boy and girl to have babies."  I agree and say that is correct and when the boy and girl are married and they ask God for a baby he gives them one.   I then quickly turn up Radio Disney to distract her with a song.  Damn commercials and damn smart kid!  She continues, "Well, how come young girls have babies and they are not married?  And you told me that girls in your high school had babies.  Why does God give babies to girls that are young and not married?" Damn smart kid!

So I start to think how am I going to respond to this. In my head I am saying that I am a well-educated person and I can have this talk with my daughter. This should not be too hard to explain without really getting into details. I am trying to remember that I need to be confident and keep a straight face while I am talking to her. The whole time I am thinking about how to respond, Annie is still jabbering away with her own thoughts, questions and conclusions.

Finally, I am ready to speak and address her question and main issue. Just as I am about to speak she says to me, "Dad, is this just something that is too hard for you to explain to someone so young?  It is OK, we can wait until I am older and talk about it again."  Thank God for the smart kid!

I still don't do braids

I just took all three girls in for their haircuts.  Yep, all three.  For the 16 month old, this is her third full blown haircut, and she should have had more, but her mom was worried about losing her curls if we got her hair cut too soon.  I thought weddings were going to be expensive with three girls, but with the way my ladies grow hair, I will be out of money from hairstylists and hair accessories long before any marriage proposals will come along.

I always ask Amy what she wants me to tell the hairstylist for each of the girls' cuts.  I relay the information as exactly told to me.  And of course the wonderful hairstylist always asks me a question.  "Do you want it layered? How long for the bangs? What about a bob?"  I look at her like she is speaking another language and usually just say whatever she feels is right in her professional opinion.  She is the expert so if Amy does not like it, at least I can take the blame off of me and say the hairstylist did it!  I was so worried at the questions the lady was asking me one time, that I called Amy from the salon to put her on the phone with the lady.

I may not like making the decisions on the hairstyles they get, but once they are cut, I have become pretty adept at doing little girls' hair.  Adept, that is, at getting it done as quickly as possible.  Although I would rather it be done efficiently than stylishly, I still manage a pretty good pigtail, which is not bad considering I would rather throw on a hat than brush my own hair. 

I guess this is what happens when you are a stay at home dad with three little girls and you constantly need to be pulling their hair back, up, and out of their face.  I am even aware that they need a little conditioner every once in a while when washing their hair to keep it nice and soft and tangle free.  I am still not a fan of actually brushing their hair, and by their screams and yelps, they are not fans either.  Maybe I am not a fan because it seems like besides wiping noses and bums the next most frequent thing I do in the house is brush hair.  And if I don't keep it brushed then it ends up an even bigger tangled mess.  Or worse, it ends up in their mouth or their food.  What I would give for a boy with a buzz cut! 

I have done the occasional pigtails and would have to say that they were well done.  I know how to use barrettes, bows and headbands to enhance the hair.  I am even able to somehow coordinate the hair accessories with their outfits, when I still have trouble matching the actual outfits.  With all that said, I draw the line at doing braids.  For some reason that to me steps over the line from hair doing necessity to actually "creating hairstyles."  It takes much longer and requires some patience from both child and parent.

In my opinion, mom will do all of the fancy hairstyles and I will stick to the ponytails and pigtails.  I will also try to avoid the urge to tell the hairstylist for three buzz cuts at their next hair appointment.