Way too early for "The Talk"

I always believed that one of the biggest benefits of having all girls was that I would get to avoid having "The Talk."  Now, like every parent I get the "Where do babies come from?" question on a regular basis.  And my stock answer has always been that "God gives them to mommies and daddies when they are ready."  Well to my surprise, Annie did not hold my same belief system that the dad does not have "The Talk" with his girls.

Annie and I were fortunate to spend a lot of quality time together while we were driving back and forth to Newport on the day of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.  We dropped Amy, Kelly and Brigid off in the morning for the parade and then headed back to SK for a friend's birthday party and then back to Newport for the fun after the parade.  It is always fun times alone with Annie because she is so smart and inquisitive that there is usually never a lull in the conversation.  These are also stressful times, because she is so smart and inquisitive and there is never a lull in the conversation.  You have to constantly be on your toes with her.  You have to expect questions from everywhere and about anything.  I just never thought the questions would lead down the road it did.

Usually, they are normal questions like how does this work or who made that.  However, Annie is famous for asking somewhat tougher questions too.  For example, we could be driving along and a car will pass us in the opposite direction.  Now Annie will proceed to shoot out, rapid fire, questions about that car going in the other direction.  Not just the color or make or even what license plate.  No, she wants to know where they are going, how many kids they have, why did they buy that type of car, why are they not going to Newport for the parade today, etc.

So as we were driving back to Newport after her friend's party it was these types of questions that she was asking, when all of a sudden she throws me the biggest question of all. "Where do babies come from?"  I give her my stock answer mentioned above.  However, she is not satisfied.  Damn smart kid!  She proceeds to tell me that Mommy said "you need a boy and girl to have babies."  I agree and say that is correct and when the boy and girl are married and they ask God for a baby he gives them one.   I then quickly turn up Radio Disney to distract her with a song.  Damn commercials and damn smart kid!  She continues, "Well, how come young girls have babies and they are not married?  And you told me that girls in your high school had babies.  Why does God give babies to girls that are young and not married?" Damn smart kid!

So I start to think how am I going to respond to this. In my head I am saying that I am a well-educated person and I can have this talk with my daughter. This should not be too hard to explain without really getting into details. I am trying to remember that I need to be confident and keep a straight face while I am talking to her. The whole time I am thinking about how to respond, Annie is still jabbering away with her own thoughts, questions and conclusions.

Finally, I am ready to speak and address her question and main issue. Just as I am about to speak she says to me, "Dad, is this just something that is too hard for you to explain to someone so young?  It is OK, we can wait until I am older and talk about it again."  Thank God for the smart kid!

I still don't do braids

I just took all three girls in for their haircuts.  Yep, all three.  For the 16 month old, this is her third full blown haircut, and she should have had more, but her mom was worried about losing her curls if we got her hair cut too soon.  I thought weddings were going to be expensive with three girls, but with the way my ladies grow hair, I will be out of money from hairstylists and hair accessories long before any marriage proposals will come along.

I always ask Amy what she wants me to tell the hairstylist for each of the girls' cuts.  I relay the information as exactly told to me.  And of course the wonderful hairstylist always asks me a question.  "Do you want it layered? How long for the bangs? What about a bob?"  I look at her like she is speaking another language and usually just say whatever she feels is right in her professional opinion.  She is the expert so if Amy does not like it, at least I can take the blame off of me and say the hairstylist did it!  I was so worried at the questions the lady was asking me one time, that I called Amy from the salon to put her on the phone with the lady.

I may not like making the decisions on the hairstyles they get, but once they are cut, I have become pretty adept at doing little girls' hair.  Adept, that is, at getting it done as quickly as possible.  Although I would rather it be done efficiently than stylishly, I still manage a pretty good pigtail, which is not bad considering I would rather throw on a hat than brush my own hair. 

I guess this is what happens when you are a stay at home dad with three little girls and you constantly need to be pulling their hair back, up, and out of their face.  I am even aware that they need a little conditioner every once in a while when washing their hair to keep it nice and soft and tangle free.  I am still not a fan of actually brushing their hair, and by their screams and yelps, they are not fans either.  Maybe I am not a fan because it seems like besides wiping noses and bums the next most frequent thing I do in the house is brush hair.  And if I don't keep it brushed then it ends up an even bigger tangled mess.  Or worse, it ends up in their mouth or their food.  What I would give for a boy with a buzz cut! 

I have done the occasional pigtails and would have to say that they were well done.  I know how to use barrettes, bows and headbands to enhance the hair.  I am even able to somehow coordinate the hair accessories with their outfits, when I still have trouble matching the actual outfits.  With all that said, I draw the line at doing braids.  For some reason that to me steps over the line from hair doing necessity to actually "creating hairstyles."  It takes much longer and requires some patience from both child and parent.

In my opinion, mom will do all of the fancy hairstyles and I will stick to the ponytails and pigtails.  I will also try to avoid the urge to tell the hairstylist for three buzz cuts at their next hair appointment.