Cheerleading as a contact sport?

While reading a recent Sports Illustrated Issue devoted to hard hits in the NFL and concussions, I came to a realization. For the first time, there was not the slightest twinge of regret about not having a boy to play football with me. I am glad that my girls will never play tackle football in high school or college.  But then it got me thinking about what sports they would play or have talked about playing.

Annie, I think, has her mother's eye-hand coordination and thus will probably not be active in soccer, basketball, softball, etc. She loves to swim and is really good so maybe that will stick. Kelly likes soccer practice, but not the games which is pretty much counterintuitive to an average kid's thought process, but that fits perfectly with Kelly's personality. So not sure if she will continue with soccer or not.  Brigid is very physical right now, so maybe she would like to play football if she has the chance.  But really she is way too young to figure out. With that all said, the one sport that pops up more frequently with Annie and Kelly then any other is cheerleading. 

If it is the kind of cheerleading I remember from my days at Cardinal Dougherty H.S. in Philadelphia, then that seems harmless enough. I remember the cheerleading team as a nice group of girls who tried their best to get the crowd involved in the football and basketball games. They were also the ones out front during all of the pep rallies and spirit days. The most daring thing they did was maybe toss a girl up in the air a few feet and quickly catch her. There were no boys on the team and the girls' upper body strength was not great enough to really get any height on their tosses.  No, my high school cheerleading squad did actual cheers.  Which make sense since that is what they are suppose to do.  Like my favorite cheer:

                "People in the front, let me here you grunt. UGH!
                 People in the middle let me here you sizzle. SSSSSZZZ!
                 People in the rear let me hear you cheer. Yeah, shake that thing."

And then they would do a little shaking and moving of their bodies.  Think maybe I should have spent more time watching the football and basketball games then staring at the cheerleaders?

Today the type of cheerleading done is actually called Competitive Spirit Squads.  Competitive Spirit, what does that mean?  My image of competitive spirit is like the scene from the movie Hoosiers when one section of the stands said "We've got spirit, yes we do, we've got spirit,  how about you?"  And then they would point to the opposing student section and they would do the same cheer back to see who indeed had the most spirit.  But that type of cheering does not even come close.  The Competitive Spirit Squads around today are hell bent on throwing girls higher and farther while they do multiple flips and twirls and then hoping to catch them when they come down.  They do not even do any actual cheers while they are doing these stunts. The routines are usually put to some sort of contemporary dance/club music and maybe everyone once in a while the squad will clap and say the name of their team. As a frequent channel surfer, I've seen a few of these competitions and it struck me that there could be some serious injuries involved with this sport.

A quick Google search on "high school sports injuries by sport" confirmed my assumption.  As I read report after report I almost began to wish my girls could possibly play football.  According to an article by Terry Ziegler on suite101.com, cheerleading is quickly becoming one of the most dangerous sports in America.  The total volume of injuries is not as high as other sports, but when you look at the number of injuries per participant it is staggering. Also, the injuries they are talking about are catastrophic injuries, not your run of the mill sprained ankle or bruises (which still occur alarmingly high in cheerleading). Catastrophic injuries are defined as "fatalities, permanent disability injuries, and serious injuries with complete recovery."  This definition comes from the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.  In fact, in the 2008 Annual Report from the NCCSI, cheerleading accounts for 65% of all female catastrophic injuries. 

If the change in cheerleading in the past 17 years has gone from actual cheering and simple pyramids to amateur Cirque du Soleil shows, I am scared to think what they will become in another 10 years when my girls will be going to high school. With visions of scenes from the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - only except for swords and kung fu, the cheerleaders will use pom poms and high leg kicks - I'm thinking helmets and pads may not be so bad after all. For any sport, that is, not just football.

Daddy, DADDY, DAAADDDYYY!!!

Why do kids not have any patience?  Was it somehow not put into their DNA upon conception?  Ten fingers and toes, two eyes, ears, arms and legs, but no patience.  Their bodies even know to grow hair and teeth later on, but still no patience.  They also learn to walk, talk and eat by watching others and trial and error. Love, laughter, and sadness are somehow programmed in and eventually come out.  So is patience just not included in the original make-up and has to be completely learned like the ABC's and 123's?

I believe my parenting techniques are nurturing them to learn this attribute.  I constantly am telling them 'wait a minute.'  Now maybe my minute may be five or even ten minutes later, but I always get to them.  Shouldn't my distractedness teach them patience right there?  For example, Kelly should learn patience because she has to wait a few minutes longer for me to come and wipe her bum, while I check everyone's Facebook status.

Also, telephones do not help children learn patience.  I believe there is some sort of secret device in the phone that makes children want to ask you questions while you are talking.  They can see that you are on the phone, but for some reason they are still drawn to you to ask a question.  Even if the question concerns the littlest thing.  And they will continue to talk to you even when you point to the phone or hold up one finger (the international signal to wait) or even say "please wait."  However, if you were not on the phone and did those same things they would immediately stop talking.  So, my only guess is that there is some sort of high pitch tone that the phone emits like a dog whistle, except this attracts kids instead of sending them away.  Annie's ears are particularly sensitive to this sound, and cannot seem to stop talking to me whenever I am on the phone.

So maybe patience is just a trait that takes a long time to learn.  And as they are learning it must screw something up with their volume control and their eyes.  Because whenever they need you and they can not wait, their scream for "Daddy" just seems to get louder and louder even if you are doing something.  Like, when I am trying to carry a 50lb TV up from the basement and Kelly is asking me for water for her paint brushes. She should be able to see that I am doing something, but for some reason she thinks that by yelling my name several times and louder each time she will get me to stop everything and come help her.

I guess we will just have to continue to work on patience around this house.  But hopefully someday after the scientists and doctors have cured cancer they can create a pill for pregnant moms so kids come out with patience somewhere ingrained in their DNA.  Actually, forget I said that.  I would rather my daughters have to deal with their impatient kids, too!

Laundry Demands from a 6-year old

Annie asked me today when I was going to do the laundry.  I told her I do it every couple of weeks, whenever her basket is full.  She told me some parents do it everyday.  Really?  Is that what she thinks, that I should be doing her laundry everyday. 

She said needs a shirt to wear so she can match with a friend at school.  I told her she has drawers and closets full of clothes to wear.  I also mention that if I did the laundry more regularly that she would only wear the same clothes over and over again.

I am really getting worried for the teenage years when my 6 year old is already complaining about not having enough clothes to wear.  And I have two more after her!  Oh boy!

Update on "Tiger Woods Scored a Goal" post

During my original post about kids, and girls in particularly, asking silly questions during sporting events I forgot to mention that they seem to never outgrow this instinct.  My wife, who is a fairly knowledgeable sports fan, continues to stymie me with her questions while we are watching sports.  And her questions always tend to be about the people not directly involved in the game, but somehow I am suppose to know what they are doing. 

For example, she asked me during the World Series who was the guy in the Giants dugout wearing a golf shirt?  He was on the screen for maybe a split second, behind the manager, pitching coach, and a player.  Ask me a question about any of the people in uniform and I could at least give you a plausible answer.  But no she wants to know who the guy was in the background who happened to just walk by the camera.  This is only the latest example, but she asks at least one non-game related question a game and expects me to know the answer. 

Oh well, at least the shear volume of questions from my wife is not as much as the girls.  And she does make me laugh when she asks them.

Wedding Speech Quotes - con't.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I will post every so often some of the better quotes from my kids.  And as I mentioned, these quotes will all be used in my speeches at all of my daughter's weddings.

1. Kelly has been getting into trying to spell everything.  She spells words off of things she is familiar with and she then says she knows how to spell.  Her latest attempt occurred while she was in the bathroom.  She yelled out to Amy and I that she knew how to spell potty. She says, "T, O, T, O."  Amy and I look at each other and are stumped for a second.  We then realize the manufacturer of the toilet is Toto.
2. With the cold weather starting and colds and runny noses around the corner here is an older one from Kelly, but still a good one.  About a year ago I saw that Kelly had a pretty bad runny nose one day.  I went to get a tissue and said Kelly let me wipe your nose.  She said, "No, Dad. I will just bring it back up in my nose."  She then proceeded to sniffle as hard as she could. 
3. I was sending an email to one of Annie's friends' mom and I was unsure of how to spell the girls name.  I asked Annie and she said, "It starts with an E but I am not sure how else it goes.  Dad just sound it out and do your best.” 
4. A while back Annie was having a tough night and was sent to bed without brushing teeth or anything.  She kept trying to slam her door, but our doors do not really slam. And then she just decided to come out and yell “Well when we go to the dentist and I have a cavity, it'll be your fault!” 
5. Annie and Kelly were playing upstairs one evening.  I went up to give them a five minute warning for dinner.  As I was walking up the stairs I said “Twinkle Toe and Twinkle Tee you have five minutes left before dinner.”  Before I could finish the sentence I hear Kelly from the bathroom say “Twinkle Toe is going Potty."

As usual, I hope my girls will enjoy hearing these on their wedding days as much as I enjoy sharing them with everyone. In fact, please share any of the funny things your kids have said in the past.  Just post a comment at the end of this blog.  I am sure anyone reading would enjoy.  Thanks.

Acorns in the Mouth: Changes in Parenting with Multiple Kids

After having three kids and "fondly" looking back on all of the parenting memories so far, it is amazing to see how things have changed from one child to the next.  Now my observations in this area are not strictly related to three girls, but I think to anyone who has multiple kids, whatever the genders may be.  Here are some examples to illustrate how rules, behaviors and attitudes of the parents change with the third child.

1. Clothes - First child was always dressed perfectly in clothes that were absolutely clean.  If they got a stain on it, they were probably changed very quickly.  Also, if a piece of clothing came back from the laundry and the stain was not completely removed, that piece of clothing would only be worn again in an emergency clothes shortage.   Also, whenever the first child wore that piece of clothing the parent would feel obligated to explain why their child was wearing a stained piece of clothing. Second child was dressed nicely, but if clothes got dirty they were never changed.  If a piece of clothing had a stain on it after being washed, it was still worn as long as it was not too bad.  Explanation to friends and family would be some witty comment about the second child having to wear the hand me downs of the older sibling.  Third child is lucky if they get dressed some mornings.  They may just stay in their PJ's until lunch because it is easier.  If they do get dressed, the clothes most definitely have a stain or mark on them somewhere from one of the previous siblings.  Also, they may go more then one day in the same onesie, if it does not "smell too bad" or if the parents are in a rush and just need to get somewhere.
2. Eating - First born was held for all bottles and talked to soothingly throughout.  A great bonding experience.  They peacefully ate all of their meals in their high chair or booster seat and never were allowed to walk around with food.  The second child had all of their bottles while being held, but probably were interrupted by the attention seeking first child.  All meals for the second child were still in the high chair or booster seat, but were much more rushed and quite possibly would have had to happen in different settings on occasion depending on needs and schedule of the firstborn.  Still not allowed to eat food while walking around.  If the third child did not walk around while eating they may never get fed at all.  They also never get to sit alone with their bottle and enjoy quiet time with a parent.  They are lucky when they get to sit in a booster or high chair for their entire meal.  And more times than not it will be a quick meal because the older siblings have somewhere to be.  But they learn to drink bottles on the move, and grub food from any and all adults.  They become very self sufficient early on.
3. Out and About - When you go out with the first child to a new environment the parents are more than likely going to try and sanitize the entire playing area.  They will not let their child roam on a common area type floor (i.e. a gym, restaurant floor, or school cafeteria).  The parent will be within arm's length of the child at all times.  And of course nothing will be allowed in the firstborn's mouth.  When venturing out with the second child the sanitizing of the area may be brief, if at all, and the exploration range will be broadened, but still within a 10 foot radius.  The parent will try to steer the second child to play in the same area as the older sibling to keep it simple.  Still nothing will be allowed in the second child's mouth.  With the third child, the parent is more than happy when arriving at a location to be able to but the child down and let them "explore" all they want.  As long as there is some sort of gate or door that keeps them in the enclosed environment and they can be seen within 50 feet. Not uncommon for a parent of multiple kids to be heard saying "Have you seen 'insert name of third child here' running around?"  Dirty floors? No big deal.  The parents are happy the third child is entertaining themselves and they have a few moments of peace.  Hermit crabs in the mouth? Give them a second to see that they do not taste good and then stop them from eating anymore.  Sucking on acorns?  As long as they are too big to cause a choking hazard, let them suck on them and spit out and then continue the process for as long as it keeps them happy and preoccupied.
4. Special Circumstance - If the first child had a foreign object, say a bead from a child's necklace, end up in their poopie diaper there would be absolute panic in the house.  The parents would be calling poison control, their pediatrician, and rushing the child to the emergency room.  They would probably sleep in the same room with the child through the night and possibly take off from work the next day to keep an eye on them.  If same object was found in the second child's diaper, the parents would probably call the pediatrician to make sure there was nothing special they should do and just keep a close eye on the child for the day.  When the third child has a bead end up in their poopie diaper, there is no real concern for the child, but the parents decide to use it as a teaching lesson.  They bring the offending diaper to the kitchen table and make the two older kids look at it and explain to them that they need to clean up all of their toys or this is what will happen!

If you have more than one kid you can probably relate in one way or another.  Maybe not exactly, but you probably will have plenty of your own examples.  And despite the changing approach to parenting as the number of kids increase, it is amazing how they all survive just the same.

The Jersey Shore Situation

Am I out of line to think that a 6-year-old girl dancing in front of a rock band in a bar in Point Pleasant, NJ should be cause for alarm for what the future holds?  Or should I be more concerned that the 4-year-old and the 11 month old were also dancing?

Now, I know your first comment will be, "why were they dancing in a bar?"  Well, let me explain.  During the summer, my family was on vacation in Point Pleasant Beach, NJ with my cousin and his family. We went to dinner at this place called The Tiki Bar. As we were walking out after dinner, we noticed that there was a band warming up. We decided to hang around for a minute so the girls could listen to some music.

Well, a minute turned into 45 minutes of my three girls dancing (along with my cousin's two daughters) in front of the band like they were their number one groupies. And, you may think that they were just running around and being silly. Nope. I couldn't believe my eyes as they were actually doing dance moves and trying to get the attention of the band members. Annie was shaking her hips and her arms were in the air, all as part of her own choreographed routine. Kelly was trying to keep up with her big sister as best as she could.  And Brigid sat in the middle of the dance floor, bouncing up and down, pointing at the lead singer.  If the scene was not crazy enough, a "The Situation" wanna be, trying to impress his "Snooki," grabbed Annie and was spinning her around the dance floor.  I was trying to sit there and smile, but believe me, crazy thoughts about my daughters' futures were running through my mind.

I bring this up now because there have been two more recent instances of my daughters taking over dance floors. First was at the Irish Festival in Newport at the end of the summer. An American-Irish band played onstage as families sat around tables, enjoying the food and  peacefully listening to the music. Soon the small dance floor was over run by my daughters and some of their friends.  Most of the girls were just running around, being silly. Not mine. Now, even though she has only had eight-45 minute classes of Irish Step Dancing from two young girls through the South Kingstown Department of Rec., Annie performed as if she were part of RiverDance! Kelly, once again not to be outdone by her sister, was Irish Step Dancing, even though she has never had a lesson. They did not come off the dance floor the entire time the band was on stage. 

The most recent instance occurred at a political fund raising event at the infamous Hibernian Hall.  There was an older group of musicians just playing some nice music for the crowd as they enjoyed mingling and the buffet.  The thought of my girls dancing did not even enter my mind since there was not even a dance floor.  But true to their nature they somehow manufactured their own space by pushing chairs around and got themselves enough space to show off their moves once again.  And of course Annie is out there dancing like she is in a Lady Gaga video. Kelly was more silly this time and not really doing specific dance moves and Brigid would venture in and out, but there was a lot more to explore now that she is a more confident walker.

I guess on the one hand I could be happy.  My girls are definitely not shy and they enjoy dancing, which is great fun and wonderful exercise.  It should also help with self confidence and I know they will be able to have fun at any event as long as there is music.  But on the other hand, what am I to think about for the future if this is how my daughters are dancing now?  Are they going to be the girl dancing provocatively at the bar or the frat party?  Are they going to be a member of their college's dance team, dressed in next-to-nothing, dancing at center court during basketball games?  Or will they use this talent just for fun when hanging out with their family or friends?  These are the thoughts that keep me up at night with three girls.

Finally, if the thoughts I already have in my head are not distressing enough, let me give you one last image to ponder. As we were dragging the girls out of the Tiki Bar, some creepy old man gave each of them a dollar bill!

Needless to say I have had many restless nights of sleep, pondering my daughters' futures.  Only now, besides my own pre-conceived thoughts, I also have a new one. Now I will have to go to bed each night wondering if my girls are going to end up dancing professionally for money. Thanks, Creepy Old Guy at The Tiki Bar!

Wedding Speech Quotes

From time to time I will put things up here that the kids say.  Because they really come out with some good ones.  As all kids do.  Also, I like to keep a record of everything they say for the future.  I have already told Annie and Kelly that my speech at their weddings will just be me reading all of the silly things they either said or did while growing up.  Also, it will include all of the insightful things they say too.  Here are a couple examples from the past few weeks.  Sorry if some of these are repeats from my wife's Facebook posts.

1. Kelly and I were talking about when she gets older and moves out of the house.  She said she never wants to leave the house.  I said that is fine, but just know that while you are living at my house you follow my rules.  One of the rules I told her were no boys.  Without blinking an eye, she says "Dad I will just sneak out of the house at midnight and go meet my boyfriend."
2. Kelly, Brigid, and I were hanging around the house and Kelly was asking a bunch of questions.  Not sure if I had a look on my face or what, but Kelly felt a need to explain something.  She says, "You know Dad, I ask a lot of questions because Brigid and I do not know that much about the world." 
3. Nana and Pampa were watching Kelly and Brigid one day.  Kelly was singing for Pampa and Nana and Brigid wanted to be a part of the show.  Brigid was in front of Kelly and Kelly said to her “Brigid you’re the back-up singer not the front-up singer!”    
4. Amy was taking Annie and Kelly shopping for clothes.  Amy also decided to look for herself and this is what Annie said to her.  "Mom, I think you're in the wrong section. These clothes are all for young women."  
5.  Amy has an Aunt Tina that is a nun.  Aunt Tina has a friend Maria, who is also a nun.  They live together and go everywhere together.  They were at our house for Brigid’s Christening party.  At the end of the party Aunt Tina asked Annie to get her coat from upstairs and she told Annie the color.  Annie asked her “what color coat does your wife have?”  She meant Maria’s coat.

Ah kids you have to love the innocence and the pure honesty.  I hope they enjoy these quotes on their wedding day as much as I enjoy them now. 

Payback is fun!  Is it bad that I am already planning the payback?  Not sure, but I guess it will be one small way for me to win a battle in this war of a house full of women. 

More to come....